Singlish vs English

Sometimes you could find some interesting stuffs when you are cleaning your junk mails! This is one of them, titled *Why Singlish is better than English*, enjoy!

When going shopping...
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlet for u.
Sporean: No Stock!

When returning a call...
Britons: Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Sporean: Hello, who page?

When someone is in the way...
Britons: Excuse me, I'll like to get by. Would u please make way?
Sporean: Lai, Siam! / Siam hor! / Siam lah! / Skius!

When someone offers to pay...
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Sporean: No nid.

When asking for permission...
Britons: Excuse me, do u think it's possible for me to enter through this door?
Sporean: (While pointing at the door) Can or not?

When asking to be excused...
Britons: If u would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Please carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
Sporean: Go toilet. Cannot tahan oreddy.

When entertaining...
Britons: Please make yourself right at home
Sporean: Dun shy leh!

When doubting someone...
Britons: I dun recall u giving me the money.
Sporean: Where got?

When declining an offer...
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that if u dun mind.
Sporean: Do'waaaaaan

When deciding on a plan of action...
Britons: Wat do u propose we do now that the movie's sold out and all the restaurants are closed?
Sporean: So how? Go where?

When disagreeing a topic of conversation...
Britons: Err... Tom, I have to stop u there. I understand where u 're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what u said about the policy.
Sporean: Talk cock la, you!

When asking someone to lower their voice...
Britons: Excuse me, but could u please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Sporean: Eh, tiam can or not?

When asking someone if he knows u...
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed u staring at me for some time. Do I know u?
Sporean: See wat?